Last week we decided to put her to sleep. Before the veterinarian proceeded, I gave her a bowl of dog food and didn't think she would eat it. However, I was wrong. She not only finished it but also barked energetically for more.

I was astonished to see her being so alive. The truth was that she looked extremely ill and lifeless every time I saw her. At that moment, I seemed to realize she wished to be alive. I then convinced myself to leave her matter of life or death to God. Perhaps it was not the time for her to die yet, if I insisted to end her life my way, do I also have to bear her so called "undone works" in this life? I don't think so!

The veterinarians that I met, some suggested euthanasia is the solution to the ill ones in the foster house, and some opposed it. The issue that I concern is does euthanasia really provide peaceful and painless death? Who knows? Huh! Even though I am alive, I don't remember how I died past life, and I don't know whom else does?

- translated by Violet on 7/06/1998